King of Řots at parliamentary session on 15 March; traffic in Kotōlets and Nekkar to be suspended

(Nekkar, 23 February 2017) – King Verteř V Storm will attend a session of the parliament of Řots on 1 Třeesip (15 March), prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet himself announced today. Those who watched members of the government and parliament up close in the last week, may have suspected that something important and/or unusual was going on, as everybody seemed far more stressed and busy than normal. The last time a head of state of Řots attended a session of parliament was by King Dot XIII Tora in 3405 (= 1929), so almost ninety years ago; his successor Dot XIV Vāsterets and his successors kept themselves out of state politics altogether, with modernity arriving too rapidly for them as of the ’30s (= the ‘50s of the 20th century).

The King’s decision to attend a parliamentary session is all the more surprising because of his age: the current monarch is probably in his late 80s and succeeded his brother King Bēserets Sot (3438 – 3492 = 1961 – 2016) only two years ago. As the prime minister announced, the King’s health is in a fragile state, so any unexpected surprise should be avoided at all cost and the Codex should be followed to the letter: the 1200 year old set of rules that determine the lives of the Royal Family and most of the nobility, and which prevents any change, causing them to form a society within the society of Řots that has been living in isolation and according to medieval tradition until present day.

The visit will also require a change of schedule for inhabitants of both the royal capital of Kotōlets, the civil capital of Nekkar, and some roads between the two: as the royal family and most of the nobility are still living by the Codex, the King and his entourage are most likely not used to the existence of e.g. cars, which means that car driving will be temporarily suspended along the route the Royal Carriage will take. The Carriage will not take the highways, but rather follow the ‘scenic’ road via Tarřebo, Ōřlemup, and Vulipo. The King will spend a week in Nekkar and stay in the Merbu-Kevigu Palas in the suburb of Merp and receive guests there; he will get out only to attend the parliamentary session on the 15th. The prime minister announced that security in Nekkar will be heavily increased during that week, but citizens should not be hindered in their daily activities. In any case, citizens of Nekkar will have a day off on the 15th.

The King’s attendance of parliament also requires that its members as well as the members of the government who attend the session, need to dress up in formal attire as prescribed by the Codex. All persons in Řots who end up in a position of importance have one set made for these eventualities, but in practice, nobody ever needs to wear it and clothes are often acquired second hand from previous politicians if their sizes are more or less the same. Politicians who discover that their formal dress doesn’t fit, now have less than three weeks to make the necessary changes to their clothing.

The conduction of the parliamentary session itself will also be different than usual: speaking or asking questions in the Řosu Git (‘House of Řots’, Řots’s house of parliament) has to be done according to strict formulas so it may take longer to discuss certain topics: a general old-fashioned literary way of speaking is required, mentioning the King all the time, referring to oneself in the third person, and avoiding the suggestion that anyone but the King may have taken any decision, e.g. the minister of Housing could say: ‘By His Majesty’s Leave, His Minister of Housing and Regional Planning humbly informs the Honorable Speaker of this House that …’ instead of the more usual ‘Mr Speaker, I have decided that …’ Many politicians who are expected to speak in the Řosu Git that day will need to practice using this formal way of speaking even in spontaneous replies.

Although many are looking forward to having their first ever glimpse of a Řots monarch, there has been criticism about all the fuss that this royal surprise visit will entail. According to some, Nekkar will be struck by a week of chaos, and if the King plans to schedule more of these surprise visits, some things need to be changed – but this would essentially mean a modification of the Codex, which although not impossible, seems very unlikely.

Řots Government approves construction of new international airport near Nekkar

(Nekkar, 7 July 2017) – The government of Řots has approved the contruction of a new international airport near the capital, Nekkar. This was announced by traffic minister Gerben Arva Larin this morning. The new airport will replace the existing one, which has been considered too small and out of date. “The facilities at the current airport are not of this time anymore”, the minister said. “Expanding and modernising it at its present location is not possible according to experts, so the government decided to select another site and build a new airport from scratch.”

This new site will be in the province of Māp, east of the towns of Īssikem and Sorteka approximately 35 kilometers from the city centre of Nekkar, where an area will be ‘cut out’ and added as an exclave to the province of Nekkar. The new airport should attract commercial, business, and cargo flights and will include a large business area; the government intends to promote Nekkar as an alternative international hub.

Nude drunk elite party surprises visitors of commercial centre of Bakiřvē Ots (Řots)

(Kavatořre (Řots), 1 July 2017) – A number of late night shoppers in the commercial centre of Bakiřvē Ots, in the Ēzentep district of Kavatořre near the village of Nī Tek Prusu Loko and the SAF border were awkwardly surprised last night when several dozens of partying people entered the premises – without any clothes on. Shocked passers-by called the police, who arrived shortly afterwards. It turned out to be a mixture of lower nobility and several upper class persons whose party had started at the nearby Kīvi estate earlier in the evening.

“For the sake of their privacy the police won’t mention the names of those involved, although we suspect that several pictures may pop up at social media in the next couple of hours”, a spokeswoman of the police told the press. “I can mention however that among the guests of Lord Kīvi were noted local politicians, a few captains of industry and several members of the nobility whose identities we are in the process of varifying – which, as you know, is complicated.

“The cause of this problem has been identified as an alcoholic substance that causes almost instant drunkenness and makes you feel hot so that one’s first instinct is to undress. The effect may take several hours to wear off. We questioned the assistants of a noble woman who is suspected of having brought several bottles to the party and is the only one whom we encountered still dressed.”

The noble woman was reveiled (by herself) to be Maro Tōr, the Duchess of Kartori. She is one of the few members of the higher nobility that hasn’t retreated in their castles and estates since the middle ages to live by the Codex of Řots, a set of laws and protocols that over time has made governing the country so impossible that common citizens started to form their own modern society, now almost twohundred years ago. The Duchess is often seen in high society situations and generally tends to behave oddly.

The Duchess denies having anything to do with it this time however. “Of course I didn’t bring these bottles of … what was it called? Shputs? Shlurp? … to the party? How could I? I wasn’t even aware that these nice people would react like this if they drank it! The person who sold them to me only told me that those who consumed it would have a great time!”

Řots Government investigating membership of the Archanta Nations Organisation

(Nekkar, 16 June 2017) – The government is currently investigating the possibility for Řots to join the Archanta Nations Organisation. This was confirmed by foreign affairs minister Bāpēr Irve Ulař. “The ANO offers many attractive features such as their purpose to maintain peace on the continent of Archanta, and the facilitation of regulations concerning aspects of trade, industry, transportation, and security”, she said. “Most current member states of ANO are however located on the northern part of Archanta, Neo Delta being an important exception. It therefore remains to be seen how Řots and the ANO will be able to overcome the distance in order to implement e.g. the peace instruments and I have to confess that our membership of the South-West Astrasian Economic Alliance may already cover a lot of the economic aspects of ANO. We will enter talks however with an open mind.”

Founded in 1985, the ANO is a mainly political organisation that attemps to facilitate transnational decision-making and multilateral dialogue in Archanta. Currently it has ten member states, including Abunadi, the Ardisphere, and Neo Delta.

Several arrests in Ārakkar after police find large amounts of drugs hidden in fake turtlefruit shells

(Ārakkar, 27 February 2016) – In what has been the largests drugs related operation in Řots to date the police found a ‘huge amount of drugs’ worth several hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of Řots Varks hidden in 97 boxes containing mostly fake turtlefruit shells yesterday morning. A few real turtle fruits had been added in case of a superficial controle, but the police were tipped and went through the cargo more thoroughly than expected.

The five persons that were supposed to collect the boxes were held and are currently in police custody. In the course of the day, the police raided several buildings in downtown Ārakkar and the neighbouring village of Valkar, during which 26 more suspects were arrested. It is said that Bidevi Koras Avēt, the Ārakkar alderman responsible for local economy and trade is among them, but the police said that they couldn’t deny nor confirm that as the investigation is still ongoing.

The police told the press that the drugs were intended for the South-East Astrasian market. “Drugs from Tarephia have been finding their way through our country for years, but in the last three to five years we noted a sudden traffic increase. With today’s catch we administered a severe blow to the drug scenes both in Řots, in our neighbouring countries and hopefully in the countries of origin as well”, a spokesman of the police said.

The “Turtlefruit Scandal”, as it is already called, may have consequences for more people. “In order to maintain such an enormous clandestine operation, people in high places have had to be involved”, Vase Belōr Galati, the chief commissioner of the national police, said today in a televised interview. In the next couple of days, the police will be expanding their investigation to other cities as well, especially the capitals of Nekkar and Kotōlets and the southern harbour of Kiřtemon. “It is important that we put a stop to this as quickly as possible”, the chief commissioner said.

Turtlefruits, especially the so called “Freedemian” variant, are a quite popular exotic fruit in Řots and the most important fruit that is imported from the Tarephian continent.

Řots’s King Bēserets Sot died; younger brother crowned King Verteř V Storm

(Kotōlets/Nekkar, 14 February 2016) – His Most Serene and August Majesty Bēserets Sot, Lord and King of the Lands of Řots and Emissary of the Four Gods, has died last Thursday in the company of his closest relatives, who subsequently crowned the King’s younger brother as the new king Verteř V Storm. This was announced by prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet this morning. The prime minister declared that tomorrow will be a day of morning and the day after tomorrow will be a day of celebration.

It remains to be seen how long the new King will last; according to sources surrounding the prime minister’s office, King Verteř V Storm is old and fragile and experts say that if the situation regarding his succession would have been clear, he would have refused to succeed – meaning that it is not at all sure that the new crown prince or crown princess will be up to the task. The prime minister mentioned that he hasn’t met the new King himself after the former King’s death and the other members of the court didn’t want to answer any question regarding the future of the monarchy of Řots. “It is rather annoying”, he said; “now there is a new King, but the uncertainty surrounding the succession remains.” Since the prime minister, as the highest government official, is the only one who will be accepted by the royal court as a conversation partner, he fears that he will have to spend a lot of time trying to obtain information from the royal court. For this reason he announced the appointment of Nevenet Gerve Bonet (f) as state secretary for general affairs, who will join the government as the prime minister’s assistent.

Bořranda Upel Avarts, the leader of the leftist Parti Breřēts Sunisugudats (‘Party for Shared Possession’), criticised the government for being ‘held hostage’ by the obsolete institution of the monarchy. “What exactly are these people doing for our country, apart from keeping the government occupied with unimportant constitutional issues? The country has to be governed but instead the prime minister has to appoint an assistent to do the governing for him because he has to dedicate his precious time to a secretive old hermit. This is simply unacceptable!”

Řots’s King Bēserets Sot not dead yet; brother designated heir presumptive

(Kotōlets/Nekkar, 13 December 2015) – According to prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet, His Most Serene and August Majesty Bēserets Sot, Lord and King of the Lands of Řots and Emissary of the Four Gods, is indeed gravely ill, as rumours have been claiming since last week’s detection of a sudden increase in activity around the royal estates outside Kotōlets.

“His Majesty’s situation is currently stable, but he isn’t able to speak anymore, which complicates matters at the court, as everyone awaits orders that don’t come”, the prime minister said. “It is unclear how long this situation will continue. Doctors say it is certain that at his age, His Majesty won’t recover from his current condition, but as to whether the end will come tomorrow or after a few weeks or even months, they cannot give an estimation.”

During his stay at the royal court, the prime minister found out that the King does indeed not have children. The King’s younger brother Prince Verteř Storm was presented as the heir presumptive. “Apparently he has offspring, so the line of succession to the throne of Řots seems to be secure, although I got the impression that the Prince’s child or children are a subject that has to be avoided in discussions at the court”, the prime minister said. “Things would be easier by the way if the Prince were to be appointed regent while His Majesty is incapacitated, but apparently it’s only the King himself who can appoint the regent, and as he is incapable of doing so, there will be no regent.”

Health of Řots’s King Bēserets Sot ‘rapidly deteriorating’

(Kotōlets/Nekkar, 5 December 2015) – Since this morning, officials in both Nekkar and Kotōlets, including prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet, have been seen running around more busily than normal and several obscured limousines were reportedly driving towards the heavily secluded royal estates outside Kotōlets. No official statement has been given yet, but according to unofficial sources the health of His Most Serene and August Majesty Bēserets Sot, Lord and King of the Lands of Řots and Emissary of the Four Gods, is rapidly declining.

King Bēserets Sot ascended the throne in 1961 – and that is the only knowledge about him that has been confirmed, as then prime minister Tip Verteř Ēbāt attended the ceremony and presented the official announcement of King Nařret III Tip’s death and King Bēserets Sot’s succession to the Řosu Git. Speculations about the King’s birthyear vary from 1910 to 1935, which makes him anywhere between 80 and 105 years old, old enough to make an imminent change of head of state likely.

The composition of the current royal family is unknown as well, and, most unusual, the name of the crown prince or crown princess has never been made public; during the reigns of the previous Kings and Queens, the name of the heir apparent or presumptive was always announced. The lack of this knowledge has made governments increasingly nervous in the past couple of years, as uncertainty about the King’s successor among the nobility could lead to a very old-fashioned war in the streets of Řots. “We cannot have unworldly counts and dukes holding unexpected joust tournaments in the busiest shopping streets of Kotōlets”, former prime minister Ēbāt Bander Mōr said already in 2003. Former prime minister Kar Basil Ītase tried to find out more only two years ago, but was unsuccessful.

“The eyes of the world are on Suvuma”, says Neo Delta president; calls for respect of human rights

Neo Delta regrets expulsion of ambassador from Suvuma as hundreds receive him in Taiago.

TAIAGO – Hundreds of Neo Deltans and Goytakano refugees received the ambassador of Neo Delta to Suvuma, Gretoj Befi-Duk as he landed on Taiago International Airport, in Brugas, last Monday. The ambassador is seen as a hero by many, who believe the act of the government of Neo Delta of recognizing Goytakanya as a sovereign country was courageous and should be followed by other countries.

Crowd awaits for Neo Delta ambassador in Taiago

The government of Suvuma, in turn, decided to expel the ambassador of Neo Delta to the country earlier this week, going through with its decision of cutting diplomatic relations with Neo Delta over the opening of a Goytakano embassy in Malojdeh last month. The Suvumese issued a harsh message this time, as the sixth nation in the world decides to recognize Goytakanya’s independence. Several other nations have supported Neo Delta’s decision, with the former minister of Řots calling for the recognition of the country by the international community.

President of Neo Delta, Dainu Gok-Plat, asked that Neo Deltans traveling to Suvuma would reconsider the trip as its embassy in Suvuma was closed and attacked by Suvumese civilians. The president also said that she is extremely concerned over the safety of Neo Deltans in Suvuma territory, as this week’s violent protests emerged against Neo Delta. According to her, a special ship is arriving in Suvuma in the next couple of days to take the willing Neo Deltans to Taiago, since flights between the two countries have been suspended, she also added that “the eyes of the world are on Suvuma and human rights must be respect at any circumstance”.

Former foreign minister of Řots asks world nations to recognise Goytakanya

(Nekkar, 9 November 2015) – Former foreign minister of Řots Koras Ipat Vabere has called upon the nations of the world to issue a formal recognition of Goytakanya. Suvuma expelled the ambassador of Neo Delta yesterday, following the recognition of Goytakanya by Neo Delta last month. Amid heavy riots, the Suvumese military escorted the ambassador off Suvumese territory in what is the country’s latest protest against the recognition by third parties of the small island nation of Goytakanya.

“The Suvumese government may think that other nations will abstain from recognising Goytakanya if they are treated as Neo Delta has been treated just now, but this kind of behaviour is really not done in international diplomacy”, the former minister said. “I therefore call upon all governments to recognise Goytakanya as an independent nation and force Suvuma to deal with the situation in a civilised manner. We cannot have one country dividing international politics and forcing countries to take sides only because it can’t get over the fact that one tiny Suvuman island gained independence forty years ago. The entire area could have been a lot more prosperous for both sides if Suvuma itself had recognised Goytakanya a long time ago.”

Only six countries, including Řots, have full diplomatic ties with Goytakanya at this moment. “Goytakanya has been independent for several decades, this number is far too low!” Koras Ipat Vabere says. “I cannot imagine that Suvuma has such a tight grip on the rest of the world that it is succesfully able to bully other nations into abstaining from recognising Goytakanya. This situation should change fast!”

The foreign ministry mentioned that it was discussing the status of Goytakanya with ‘several other countries’, but didn’t want to specify. Last week, the incumbent foreign minister Bāpēr Irve Ulař backed our neighbour Neo Delta in its dealings with Goytakanya and Suvuma. Koras Ipat Vabere was foreign minister in the second cabinet of prime minister Storm Bāvakos Nařret (2006 – 2011).