(Kotōlets/Nekkar, 14 February 2016) – His Most Serene and August Majesty Bēserets Sot, Lord and King of the Lands of Řots and Emissary of the Four Gods, has died last Thursday in the company of his closest relatives, who subsequently crowned the King’s younger brother as the new king Verteř V Storm. This was announced by prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet this morning. The prime minister declared that tomorrow will be a day of morning and the day after tomorrow will be a day of celebration.
It remains to be seen how long the new King will last; according to sources surrounding the prime minister’s office, King Verteř V Storm is old and fragile and experts say that if the situation regarding his succession would have been clear, he would have refused to succeed – meaning that it is not at all sure that the new crown prince or crown princess will be up to the task. The prime minister mentioned that he hasn’t met the new King himself after the former King’s death and the other members of the court didn’t want to answer any question regarding the future of the monarchy of Řots. “It is rather annoying”, he said; “now there is a new King, but the uncertainty surrounding the succession remains.” Since the prime minister, as the highest government official, is the only one who will be accepted by the royal court as a conversation partner, he fears that he will have to spend a lot of time trying to obtain information from the royal court. For this reason he announced the appointment of Nevenet Gerve Bonet (f) as state secretary for general affairs, who will join the government as the prime minister’s assistent.
Bořranda Upel Avarts, the leader of the leftist Parti Breřēts Sunisugudats (‘Party for Shared Possession’), criticised the government for being ‘held hostage’ by the obsolete institution of the monarchy. “What exactly are these people doing for our country, apart from keeping the government occupied with unimportant constitutional issues? The country has to be governed but instead the prime minister has to appoint an assistent to do the governing for him because he has to dedicate his precious time to a secretive old hermit. This is simply unacceptable!”