King of Řots at parliamentary session on 15 March; traffic in Kotōlets and Nekkar to be suspended

(Nekkar, 23 February 2017)King Verteř V Storm will attend a session of the parliament of Řots on 1 Třeesip (15 March), prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet himself announced today. Those who watched members of the government and parliament up close in the last week, may have suspected that something important and/or unusual was going on, as everybody seemed far more stressed and busy than normal. The last time a head of state of Řots attended a session of parliament was by King Dot XIII Tora in 3405 (= 1929), so almost ninety years ago; his successor Dot XIV Vāsterets and his successors kept themselves out of state politics altogether, with modernity arriving too rapidly for them as of the ’30s (= the ‘50s of the 20th century).

The King’s decision to attend a parliamentary session is all the more surprising because of his age: the current monarch is probably in his late 80s and succeeded his brother King Bēserets Sot (3438 – 3492 = 1961 – 2016) only two years ago. As the prime minister announced, the King’s health is in a fragile state, so any unexpected surprise should be avoided at all cost and the Codex should be followed to the letter: the 1200 year old set of rules that determine the lives of the Royal Family and most of the nobility, and which prevents any change, causing them to form a society within the society of Řots that has been living in isolation and according to medieval tradition until present day.

The visit will also require a change of schedule for inhabitants of both the royal capital of Kotōlets, the civil capital of Nekkar, and some roads between the two: as the royal family and most of the nobility are still living by the Codex, the King and his entourage are most likely not used to the existence of e.g. cars, which means that car driving will be temporarily suspended along the route the Royal Carriage will take. The Carriage will not take the highways, but rather follow the ‘scenic’ road via Tarřebo, Ōřlemup, and Vulipo. The King will spend a week in Nekkar and stay in the Merbu-Kevigu Palas in the suburb of Merp and receive guests there; he will get out only to attend the parliamentary session on the 15th. The prime minister announced that security in Nekkar will be heavily increased during that week, but citizens should not be hindered in their daily activities. In any case, citizens of Nekkar will have a day off on the 15th.

The King’s attendance of parliament also requires that its members as well as the members of the government who attend the session, need to dress up in formal attire as prescribed by the Codex. All persons in Řots who end up in a position of importance have one set made for these eventualities, but in practice, nobody ever needs to wear it and clothes are often acquired second hand from previous politicians if their sizes are more or less the same. Politicians who discover that their formal dress doesn’t fit, now have less than three weeks to make the necessary changes to their clothing.

The conduction of the parliamentary session itself will also be different than usual: speaking or asking questions in the Řosu Git (‘House of Řots’, Řots’s house of parliament) has to be done according to strict formulas so it may take longer to discuss certain topics: a general old-fashioned literary way of speaking is required, mentioning the King all the time, referring to oneself in the third person, and avoiding the suggestion that anyone but the King may have taken any decision, e.g. the minister of Housing could say: ‘By His Majesty’s Leave, His Minister of Housing and Regional Planning humbly informs the Honorable Speaker of this House that …’ instead of the more usual ‘Mr Speaker, I have decided that …’ Many politicians who are expected to speak in the Řosu Git that day will need to practice using this formal way of speaking even in spontaneous replies.

Although many are looking forward to having their first ever glimpse of a Řots monarch, there has been criticism about all the fuss that this royal surprise visit will entail. According to some, Nekkar will be struck by a week of chaos, and if the King plans to schedule more of these surprise visits, some things need to be changed – but this would essentially mean a modification of the Codex, which although not impossible, seems very unlikely.

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Řots Government approves construction of new international airport near Nekkar

(Nekkar, 7 July 2017) – The government of Řots has approved the contruction of a new international airport near the capital, Nekkar. This was announced by traffic minister Gerben Arva Larin this morning. The new airport will replace the existing one, which has been considered too small and out of date. “The facilities at the current airport are not of this time anymore”, the minister said. “Expanding and modernising it at its present location is not possible according to experts, so the government decided to select another site and build a new airport from scratch.”

This new site will be in the province of Māp, east of the towns of Īssikem and Sorteka approximately 35 kilometers from the city centre of Nekkar, where an area will be ‘cut out’ and added as an exclave to the province of Nekkar. The new airport should attract commercial, business, and cargo flights and will include a large business area; the government intends to promote Nekkar as an alternative international hub.

Nude drunk elite party surprises visitors of commercial centre of Bakiřvē Ots (Řots)

(Kavatořre (Řots), 1 July 2017) – A number of late night shoppers in the commercial centre of Bakiřvē Ots, in the Ēzentep district of Kavatořre near the village of Nī Tek Prusu Loko and the SAF border were awkwardly surprised last night when several dozens of partying people entered the premises – without any clothes on. Shocked passers-by called the police, who arrived shortly afterwards. It turned out to be a mixture of lower nobility and several upper class persons whose party had started at the nearby Kīvi estate earlier in the evening.

“For the sake of their privacy the police won’t mention the names of those involved, although we suspect that several pictures may pop up at social media in the next couple of hours”, a spokeswoman of the police told the press. “I can mention however that among the guests of Lord Kīvi were noted local politicians, a few captains of industry and several members of the nobility whose identities we are in the process of varifying – which, as you know, is complicated.

“The cause of this problem has been identified as an alcoholic substance that causes almost instant drunkenness and makes you feel hot so that one’s first instinct is to undress. The effect may take several hours to wear off. We questioned the assistants of a noble woman who is suspected of having brought several bottles to the party and is the only one whom we encountered still dressed.”

The noble woman was reveiled (by herself) to be Maro Tōr, the Duchess of Kartori. She is one of the few members of the higher nobility that hasn’t retreated in their castles and estates since the middle ages to live by the Codex of Řots, a set of laws and protocols that over time has made governing the country so impossible that common citizens started to form their own modern society, now almost twohundred years ago. The Duchess is often seen in high society situations and generally tends to behave oddly.

The Duchess denies having anything to do with it this time however. “Of course I didn’t bring these bottles of … what was it called? Shputs? Shlurp? … to the party? How could I? I wasn’t even aware that these nice people would react like this if they drank it! The person who sold them to me only told me that those who consumed it would have a great time!”

Řots Government investigating membership of the Archanta Nations Organisation

(Nekkar, 16 June 2017) – The government is currently investigating the possibility for Řots to join the Archanta Nations Organisation. This was confirmed by foreign affairs minister Bāpēr Irve Ulař. “The ANO offers many attractive features such as their purpose to maintain peace on the continent of Archanta, and the facilitation of regulations concerning aspects of trade, industry, transportation, and security”, she said. “Most current member states of ANO are however located on the northern part of Archanta, Neo Delta being an important exception. It therefore remains to be seen how Řots and the ANO will be able to overcome the distance in order to implement e.g. the peace instruments and I have to confess that our membership of the South-West Astrasian Economic Alliance may already cover a lot of the economic aspects of ANO. We will enter talks however with an open mind.”

Founded in 1985, the ANO is a mainly political organisation that attemps to facilitate transnational decision-making and multilateral dialogue in Archanta. Currently it has ten member states, including Abunadi, the Ardisphere, and Neo Delta.

Victory for Animal Rights: Zoos forbidden in all over Neo Delta

MALOJDEH – More than two decades after the government listened to the protests of the population of Neo Delta and closed its last zoo, the country has now made it official: zoos are forbidden anywhere within the nation. Activists have argued that the end of zoos is an important step to end humanity’s dominion over all other creatures.

Penguins in Frago, south Neo Delta. Source: Pixabay.
Penguins in Frago, south Neo Delta. Source: Pixabay.

In a recent interview, the Minister of the Environment, Arta Luje-Oteh has said that “a country shouldn’t want animals in captivity or enclosed in any manner unless it is to save their lives and help endangered species” and she explained that people must fight for animal rights the same way we fight for human rights.

When the last zoo was closed, back in 1988, captive animals that couldn’t be released into the wild were cared for in rescue centers and sanctuaries throughout Neo Delta.

Several arrests in Ārakkar after police find large amounts of drugs hidden in fake turtlefruit shells

(Ārakkar, 27 February 2016) – In what has been the largests drugs related operation in Řots to date the police found a ‘huge amount of drugs’ worth several hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of Řots Varks hidden in 97 boxes containing mostly fake turtlefruit shells yesterday morning. A few real turtle fruits had been added in case of a superficial controle, but the police were tipped and went through the cargo more thoroughly than expected.

The five persons that were supposed to collect the boxes were held and are currently in police custody. In the course of the day, the police raided several buildings in downtown Ārakkar and the neighbouring village of Valkar, during which 26 more suspects were arrested. It is said that Bidevi Koras Avēt, the Ārakkar alderman responsible for local economy and trade is among them, but the police said that they couldn’t deny nor confirm that as the investigation is still ongoing.

The police told the press that the drugs were intended for the South-East Astrasian market. “Drugs from Tarephia have been finding their way through our country for years, but in the last three to five years we noted a sudden traffic increase. With today’s catch we administered a severe blow to the drug scenes both in Řots, in our neighbouring countries and hopefully in the countries of origin as well”, a spokesman of the police said.

The “Turtlefruit Scandal”, as it is already called, may have consequences for more people. “In order to maintain such an enormous clandestine operation, people in high places have had to be involved”, Vase Belōr Galati, the chief commissioner of the national police, said today in a televised interview. In the next couple of days, the police will be expanding their investigation to other cities as well, especially the capitals of Nekkar and Kotōlets and the southern harbour of Kiřtemon. “It is important that we put a stop to this as quickly as possible”, the chief commissioner said.

Turtlefruits, especially the so called “Freedemian” variant, are a quite popular exotic fruit in Řots and the most important fruit that is imported from the Tarephian continent.

Climate change “exposed” on a global stage at AN with unconventional speech, may affect politics worldwide

A chaotic series of events at the Assembly of Nations today underlined the political inertia of the establishment in dealing with climate change. With the continuing construction of new power plants, motorways and the unregulated growth of global trade, the world is failing to achieve its carbon emission targets. In spite of increasing warnings from the scientific community that a 2 degree rise in global temperature is now pretty much inevitable, there has been little chance for minority voices to be heard. While the global community focuses on market growth, the vast bulk of the populus seems unconcerned with international relations and environmental issues, except when they relate to sport. A surprise speech at the AN this morning may have changed that.

Freedemian-born Brittney Sandrea (30), well known for her support of the renegade Anarchist organisation Telkhug Ēkdŭn and now a representative of that organisation at the AN, was scheduled to give a 30 minute speech on the effects of climate change on small island nations. Ms. Sandrea rose from her seat at the back of the Assembly hall and made her way to the front. Standing 5’11’’ and with long, blonde hair, not to mention the fact that she is a representative for an anarchist group, Ms. Sandrea is not a typical AN bureaucrat; in the male-dominated chamber, all eyes followed her closely. Taking her place at the podium, Ms. Sandrea spoke briefly about the unconventional route that had led her into politics. She then proceeded to outline the effects of increasing global temperatures. Here, her speech deviated from the norm. For each cause of climate change Ms. Sandrea removed an item of clothing. Having started wearing a skirt, jacket and flat shoes it was not long before she was down to bra and panties. Uproar in the chamber followed. And at this point, Ms. Sandrea had only underlined the causes of 1 degree of climate change. Finally, removing first her bra and then her panties, a now nude Ms. Sandrea, while being confronted by two burly security guards, got further into her points, as the confused guards tried to figure out what to do. “Think about it, people! I’m standing here naked in the middle of the AN and I’m not the least bit cold. In fact, I’m still hot!! It wouldn’t have been like this ten years ago. See for yourself. It’s okay.”

For a short moment, the confusion and uproar actually stopped, as they realized the strength of her point. For a second, some representatives even seemed like they were about to get undressed along with her, including Commonia’s Dan Iikjm and Freedemia’s Eliza Bellworth. However, they soon realized what was happening, and began once again to protest against the strange event. Ms. Sandrea finally shouted: ‘you can debate and argue all you want, but the world is getting too hot! If you want to actually make a stand against climate change, then strip! Do something that will actually make people care!’ She was then forcibly dragged from the chamber and is currently thought either to be under in detention in a local police station or to have been taken back to the Telkhug Ēkdŭn embassy in the city. Footage of the speech has gone viral around the world. For the first time in a while, it seems like climate change is back on the global agenda.

In Freedemia, response to the speech may actually affect the election for vice president. Newscaster Patrick Houser, currently in third but only behind by a few percents, is the only candidate which has made going green a priority. Houser is already gaining fast, and Nelson and Redsten are slowly dropping. If Freedemian people really value going green, Freedemia’s vice presidential election could end up showing it.