Preparing for the New Year

Pasaliapolis, Pasalia

The year 2016 is heading straight toward its end and everyone is anticipating the celebrations. It has again been a year full of joy and sadness in this country and world. What are we looking for in 2017? 2017 marks the year in which PM Marshall will again run for the job. We will look forward to the new plans of high speed transit the DOT will present in May. We at PNB are really excited about the renovation of our headquarters being finished. In case you and your family will want to enjoy the festivities down at the oceanside in Pasaliapolis please note that the PPD has announced the ban of fireworks near the New Zoological Garden. This is to improve the health of its animals and we will all understand that. Furthermore don’t be surprised to see police blocking downtown streets with trucks and armored vehicles. This is to ensure upmost safety. Please be prepared to let police search your bags for any forbidden items like firecrackers or glass bottles. The Bank of Pasalia has announced to keep its observation deck open this year. The deck was closed last year after a fatal incident involving two men happened. The fireworks will begin at midnight and are expected to last about 30 minutes. CRT will run at increased frequency and offer free shuttles buses from stations into neighborhoods to disencourage drunk driving. Police will conduct breathalyzer tests until noon of Jan 1. PNB will broadcast the celebrations from major cities like Latina, Quentinsburgh, St. Richards and many more. PNB will be here for you again on Jan 2 and Have a happy and safe 2017!

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Ulethoskeptics Rally in Tasa Valley, Draw Thousands

AMITYE, MAURETIA (TeleMaura News Ingerish) – Preliminary campaigning has begun in some key constituencies across Mauretia, as the parliamentary session comes to a close early next year. Nearly four thousand people gathered at Keyen Chemical Company’s amphitheater in Amitye yesterday with hopes that their voices will be heard in Qolna Mauretana. “Why is it that only some on the Island understand what we want?” asked liberal–publican Assemblian Adil Ferbuge (MPM-Anditasa) in his keynote address. “We want our jobs protected! We don’t want all our corporations moving across li tabrea!” This reference to the loss of 1,700 manufacturing jobs in Anditasa to a fellow EUOIA member last month received among the loudest cheers of the rally. “We don’t want to be losing ground to other nations,” Aṭanazyu bon-Bakar said. “Why does the Island think the rest of Uletha is more important [than us]?”

The official attendance at the rally was 3,956. It is believed that this figure includes the nearly seventy media members that covered the event. It is the largest political rally this year with a nonpartisan Ulethoskeptic leaning. Although Queen Gabriela was not in attendance, her presence was often felt. Her most recent confecio, which declared that she believed in doing what is best for Mauretia first, was a frequent rallying cry. La Eloiṭeva‘s public policy realignment has buoyed her already lofty approval rating, as evidenced by the words of speakers and public attendees alike.

QP Locar Bertun (MF-Iola Essa), however, surprised many by attending the event. A self-proclaimed ‘Uletho-moderate,’ she spoke immediately before the keynote address by Mr. Ferbuge. She praised the role that Mauretia plays in the EUOIA but equally emphasized caution. “A prosperous Mauretia can make for a prosperous Uletha—not the other way around.” After the rally, she projected excitement. “The people are inspired,” she said. “They are worried about unchecked globalization, and they are want to see some real changes to policy.”

Ms. Bertun’s appearance sent shockwaves through Labor (MF) this morning, with many critical. “[Ms. Bertun] should not be pandering to isolationists,” decried Qoncilioi shadow leader Kefas Brietia (MF-Banasa). “She may be a soft Ulethoskeptic, but she has no business being there. They do not see the bigger picture of prosperity in the new global economy.” Even so, Ms. Bertun sees plenty of reason for her appearance. Amitye and the industrial midlands of the Tasa Valley have long been a MF stronghold, but the party suffered surprise losses to the MDX and MPM in the last election. In an interview with teleMaura this morning, Ms. Bertun attributed those losses to her party not hearing the fears of the workers. “I reject isolationism, but the people view [us] as pro-Uletha at their expense,” she remarked. “The MDX and MPM preyed on their fears. We need to prove to them… that we are balanced on this issue and respect their economic interests.”

Mr. Ferbuge took exception to the idea that the MDX and MPM are isolationist. “We want integration to be in the broader fabric of Mauretia,” he said. “Our nation has long been international in its viewpoint. We just want to protect our people first. That is the responsibility of government. I believe Ms. Bertun would agree with this sentiment.”

BREAKING NEWS- Woolonian Traditionalist Rebels attack at Woolbridge bus station, Temporary Freedemian embassy in Woolport with synthetic bia-bia poison

WOOLBRIDGE, WOOL COUNTY, WOOLONIA – Within a month of a statement from President Ferdinand Sealy warning against complacency in the war with the Woolonian Traditionalist Rebels, two attacks occurred in Wool County that reminded the nation that they were still at war.

The Central Woolbridge Transit Center in Woolbridge and the Freedemian embassy in Woolport were stormed within hours of each other, poison darts flying. At the Freedemian embassy the perpetraters were immediately tranquilized and taken into custody. One ambassador was injured, but was only grazed by the dart and survived after being bused to a nearby hospital. Eight died at the scene at the Central Woolbridge Transit Center, 7 by poison darts and one who ran into traffic trying to get to safety.

The damage from the attacks was minimized by a newly established bia bia antidote that acts as fast as the poison (helping save the Freedemian ambassador), as well as the fact that it appeared the synthetic poison was not as potent as the natural poison from the bia bia plant.

Names of the victims have not yet been released. The nation of Woolonia, as well as ally Freedemia who has been targeted for their ties to Woolonia, are both on high alert.

President Sealy released a brief statement talking about the concerns of the WTR having synthetic poisons at their disposal and the fact that all Freedemians and Woolonians need to be ready for anything and never let their guards down. He also said that he had a very important announcement to make at a later time.

The attack with synthetic poisons marks another departure from the WTR’s normally strictly traditionalist means of warfare, which has many in Woolonia concerned that a larger attack could be imminent.

President Sealy warns against complacency in fight against Woolonian Traditionalist Rebels

PASTUREVILLE, PASTURE COUNTY, WOOLONIA– President Ferdinand Sealy of Woolonia was in Pastureville early this morning to give a speech about the current state of the Second Woolonian Civil War.

Pastureville had been one of the areas hit hardest at the start of the war. The Woolonian Traditionalist Rebels’ primary stronghold is the Pastureville Highlands, which is a large rural area outside of the city that includes the city of Sabara. Rebels had pushed in as far as the Pastureville City Limits before Woolonian forces successfully pushed back.

Things have been relatively quiet since Operation Firewolf back in October, when Woolonian forces and drones successfully took out every known stash of bia bia poison and bia bia plants in the nation, a poison that the Woolonian Traditionalist Rebels generally use as their primary weapon. As a whole, the war appears to have died down. There have been no attacks since Operation Firewolf, no statements have come from the WTR, and no further incidents have been noted, in Woolonia nor in ally Freedemia, whom the WTR also declared war on back in July. Some have even gone so far as to celebrate the “end” of the war. However, in his speech, President Sealy explicitly warned against complacency, and reminded the nation that the threat is just as real today as it was at the beginning of the war.

“By all standards and indications, we are still at war. Technically, our ally Freedemia is still under imminent threat of war. The minute that we become complacent, the second that we step back and say “Well, I guess we won!”, the very moment we let our guard down, is the moment they’ll attack.  This isn’t over!!! The Woolonian Traditionalist Rebels still have control of most of the Pastureville Highlands. Sabara is still a stronghold. Autoroute 56 is still closed. Government security is still at an all time high. And our ally Freedemia has still had war declared on them for the first time in history. Government officials and civilians have been killed. Freedemian politicians have had failed assassination attempts against them. We have not reached a resolution. We may have won this battle, but if we become complacent now and forget what’s at stake, we will lose this war.”

It has yet to be shown whether Woolonians will heed President Sealy’s message.

Unexpected backlash over Restroom and Water Access Act (RAWAA) shows small rift of class divide in Freedemia

VANDOVER, FREEDEMIA- Freedemia has recently seen a surprisingly high amount of opposition to President Angela Rosenthal‘s  Restroom And Water Access Act (better known as RAWAA) in the last couple months. A recent poll found that while about 62% agreed with the law and about 10% had no opinion, about 23% of Freedemians, primarily the more wealthy and large business owners, were against making restrooms public across the board. The opposition seems to center around areas with the largest income inequality and class divides.

The law primarily focuses on three portions, making all public places with restrooms provide at least one public restroom to combat the shortage of public restrooms in many areas, banning employee-only and customer-only restrooms, and putting aside money for the renovation, upkeep, or construction of restrooms and water fountains in public places like parks.

RAWAA has been seen as common sense to many and has not been nearly as controversial as some of the unrelated restroom bills being discussed around the world, as the primary purpose of the law is simply to provide more public restrooms to those who need them. However, the law has brought out a divide that wasn’t expected as much in a nation like Freedemia.

Robert Burson of Burson and Cameron Law in downtown Vandover told us that it’s a matter of appearing credible and ready to handle the highest end clients. “We run a high scale law firm. We defend some of the largest figures in entertainment, industry, all around, and we need to be presentable. Appearance is everything. If we suddenly have all these ordinary-looking people walking through our firm to use the public bathroom it gives our company a completely different image.  We lose credibility. We lose jobs.”

“I don’t want any riff-raff coming in! There are so many who use ‘going to the bathroom’ as a way to come in and vandalize and steal and screw things up inside the business. If they aren’t shopping here, I don’t want them here!” one local business owner along the Laneston Beach boardwalk told PWN. The store, which sells beach supplies, already has negative ratings online for the owner treating customers and non-customers poorly.

A poll showed that the areas with the most opposition were Perrysville and Graham City in Graham state, with Laneston and Vandover coming in a distant 3rd and 4th. All four areas are notorious for income inequality, although Graham City and Perrysville are significantly worse.

This is especially problematic for Vandover, a city that seems to be suffering the most from the restroom shortage. Vandover Beach has become one of the largest tourist attractions in the nation, with thousands of tourists and locals daily. However, there are large sections of the area that currently have few or no public restrooms. The city has been investing in building more public restrooms along the beach, most which should be complete by June. However, in the meantime, while many businesses have followed the mandate of RAWAA and opened their restrooms to the public, almost as many have protested the mandate, some even not following it at all.

Perrysville and Graham City especially have been nearly notorious for their class divides in contrast to the rest of Freedemia. A lot of the problems with the Graham City Financial Crisis went back to decisions made at the state and local levels that only benefited the “upper upper class”, a group more prominent in Graham City than anywhere else in the country.

Many are extremely disappointed in this response to the bill.

“I honestly thought something like this would never be an issue in Freedemia. It seemed like people were friendly to you no matter what your income or career, like a place where a fast food worker could walk into the lobby of a law firm, wave to the people behind the counter, have a good conversation, use the bathroom and leave. This doesn’t seem like what I would have hoped from Freedemians”, one father from Laneston explained to us.

“I had been out on the beach all day and I had to pee so bad,” a teenage girl from Vandover told us. “The beach restroom was a five minute walk away and the only thing really close nearby that looked open was a spa down the road, so I ran there, thinking that with the mandate, I should be able to go. When I got in, however, they told me I couldn’t go into the back without payment. I explained that I just really needed to use the bathroom and that I couldn’t hold it, and they were just so resistant. I brought up the law, how that if their lobby was public that they’re technically supposed to provide restrooms, and they just started telling me that I was trespassing and to leave before they called the police… I ended up not making it to a bathroom in time because of the incident.”

Not all areas have been as resistant. Quentinsburgh already had the largest amount of public restrooms out of the nation’s major cities, and businesses in the capitol city have, for the most part, happily complied. Cities like Trenchent, San Grande, and Franklinsburgh saw most businesses praising the decision as a “no-cost to low-cost solution to an epidemic problem”.

President Rosenthal said she would be glad to make a statement, but needed some time as to not give too hasty of a response. “I don’t want to say something in frustration that I’ll regret.”

Stay tuned to PWN News as we follow this issue.

Pasalia to celebrate its National Day

Pasaliapolis,Pasalia

People on the streets are full of anticipation for Pasalia Day! Major streets in almost every town around the country are closed to traffic and filled with stands selling delicious food, fine alcohol for every adult and of course lots and lots of fun rides and more for the kids. The average reader from abroad might search online and wonder what Pasalia Day is all about? It’s the story of how this Nation struggled to decide: which day is gonna be celebrated? The Independence Declaration? The signing of the Constitution? The last ingerish ship leaving the shores? Well, luckily for our ancestors King Robert of Pasalia decided that his birthday should from now on, that was in 1848, serve as the National Day for Pasalia. And when he passed away it was decided to leave it like that. But! Pasalia Day is more than just getting drunk and screaming the anthem, no, what a disaster this would be, its about acting good and working hard, about being aware that Freedom is precious and many people elsewhere can’t enjoy it, that opression can never be tolerated and luckily for us we can enjoy this small, but in no way irrelevant country in peace and the only things we must fear are season 8 of ,Imma edit dat out!’ and having to honestly answer your wife. So, Go ahead Pasalia! Spend that day good, get some rest tomorrow and then keep working for a better future!

His Majesty is gonna hold a speech on TV later this evening at 8pm.

For PNB this was Ronald McKing

Freedemia issues “Statement of Defense” against WTR, Woolonian drones make first successful blow against Rebel forces

Freedemia issues more peaceful statement of defense after considering declaring war, other options 

QUENTINSBURGH- Early Monday morning, Freedemia issued a “statement of defense” against the Woolonian Traditionalist Rebels after a long period of deliberation on how to respond to the WTR’s recent declaration of war.

President Angela Rosenthal explained that the declaration was a pacifist alternative to a declaration of war, while also making provision for defense. “This statement of defense makes two things clear, that Freedemia will protect itself however necessary against ANY and ALL attacks from the WTR or anyone else, and that we will stay true to our values and will never initiate any attacks or conflicts by offensive military action.”

Operation Dropwolf successful, major WTR stronghold overthrown with minimal losses

PASTUREVILLE- Woolonian forces struck a large blow against the Woolonian Traditionalist Rebels over the weekend. Operation Dropwolf was a huge success, with drone strikes taking out the largest known rebel stronghold near Sabara and some troops going in to regain control. 

“We took out an entire stronghold with minimal losses,” President Ferdinand Sealy said to a chorus of cheering. “We have crippled the strongest part of the WTR network with less than twenty injured, ten enemy deaths, no losses, and most amazing of all,  NO CIVILIAN DEATHS! That’s almost unheard of for an operation this big!!”

While Woolonia is not necessarily a pacifist society, they, like Freedemia, strongly value the sanctity of human life, and even in military operations attempt to minimize loss of life on all sides. Approximately 64 WTR Rebels were taken prisoner, with several willing to talk to the Woolonian government. It appears about four others got away.

“If we can keep this progress going, our nation could be back at peace by November!!” Sealy exclaimed in excitement when asked about what this meant for the Second Woolonian Civil War.

President Sealy did ask that the nation pause in a moment of silence for the enemy lives lost during the operation. “However misled, these men and woman were our brothers and sisters.”