Řots’s King Bēserets Sot died; younger brother crowned King Verteř V Storm

(Kotōlets/Nekkar, 14 February 2016) – His Most Serene and August Majesty Bēserets Sot, Lord and King of the Lands of Řots and Emissary of the Four Gods, has died last Thursday in the company of his closest relatives, who subsequently crowned the King’s younger brother as the new king Verteř V Storm. This was announced by prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet this morning. The prime minister declared that tomorrow will be a day of morning and the day after tomorrow will be a day of celebration.

It remains to be seen how long the new King will last; according to sources surrounding the prime minister’s office, King Verteř V Storm is old and fragile and experts say that if the situation regarding his succession would have been clear, he would have refused to succeed – meaning that it is not at all sure that the new crown prince or crown princess will be up to the task. The prime minister mentioned that he hasn’t met the new King himself after the former King’s death and the other members of the court didn’t want to answer any question regarding the future of the monarchy of Řots. “It is rather annoying”, he said; “now there is a new King, but the uncertainty surrounding the succession remains.” Since the prime minister, as the highest government official, is the only one who will be accepted by the royal court as a conversation partner, he fears that he will have to spend a lot of time trying to obtain information from the royal court. For this reason he announced the appointment of Nevenet Gerve Bonet (f) as state secretary for general affairs, who will join the government as the prime minister’s assistent.

Bořranda Upel Avarts, the leader of the leftist Parti Breřēts Sunisugudats (‘Party for Shared Possession’), criticised the government for being ‘held hostage’ by the obsolete institution of the monarchy. “What exactly are these people doing for our country, apart from keeping the government occupied with unimportant constitutional issues? The country has to be governed but instead the prime minister has to appoint an assistent to do the governing for him because he has to dedicate his precious time to a secretive old hermit. This is simply unacceptable!”


Řots’s King Bēserets Sot not dead yet; brother designated heir presumptive

(Kotōlets/Nekkar, 13 December 2015) – According to prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet, His Most Serene and August Majesty Bēserets Sot, Lord and King of the Lands of Řots and Emissary of the Four Gods, is indeed gravely ill, as rumours have been claiming since last week’s detection of a sudden increase in activity around the royal estates outside Kotōlets.

“His Majesty’s situation is currently stable, but he isn’t able to speak anymore, which complicates matters at the court, as everyone awaits orders that don’t come”, the prime minister said. “It is unclear how long this situation will continue. Doctors say it is certain that at his age, His Majesty won’t recover from his current condition, but as to whether the end will come tomorrow or after a few weeks or even months, they cannot give an estimation.”

During his stay at the royal court, the prime minister found out that the King does indeed not have children. The King’s younger brother Prince Verteř Storm was presented as the heir presumptive. “Apparently he has offspring, so the line of succession to the throne of Řots seems to be secure, although I got the impression that the Prince’s child or children are a subject that has to be avoided in discussions at the court”, the prime minister said. “Things would be easier by the way if the Prince were to be appointed regent while His Majesty is incapacitated, but apparently it’s only the King himself who can appoint the regent, and as he is incapable of doing so, there will be no regent.”

Health of Řots’s King Bēserets Sot ‘rapidly deteriorating’

(Kotōlets/Nekkar, 5 December 2015) – Since this morning, officials in both Nekkar and Kotōlets, including prime minister Vervets Bekřa Nureet, have been seen running around more busily than normal and several obscured limousines were reportedly driving towards the heavily secluded royal estates outside Kotōlets. No official statement has been given yet, but according to unofficial sources the health of His Most Serene and August Majesty Bēserets Sot, Lord and King of the Lands of Řots and Emissary of the Four Gods, is rapidly declining.

King Bēserets Sot ascended the throne in 1961 – and that is the only knowledge about him that has been confirmed, as then prime minister Tip Verteř Ēbāt attended the ceremony and presented the official announcement of King Nařret III Tip’s death and King Bēserets Sot’s succession to the Řosu Git. Speculations about the King’s birthyear vary from 1910 to 1935, which makes him anywhere between 80 and 105 years old, old enough to make an imminent change of head of state likely.

The composition of the current royal family is unknown as well, and, most unusual, the name of the crown prince or crown princess has never been made public; during the reigns of the previous Kings and Queens, the name of the heir apparent or presumptive was always announced. The lack of this knowledge has made governments increasingly nervous in the past couple of years, as uncertainty about the King’s successor among the nobility could lead to a very old-fashioned war in the streets of Řots. “We cannot have unworldly counts and dukes holding unexpected joust tournaments in the busiest shopping streets of Kotōlets”, former prime minister Ēbāt Bander Mōr said already in 2003. Former prime minister Kar Basil Ītase tried to find out more only two years ago, but was unsuccessful.

Former foreign minister of Řots asks world nations to recognise Goytakanya

(Nekkar, 9 November 2015) – Former foreign minister of Řots Koras Ipat Vabere has called upon the nations of the world to issue a formal recognition of Goytakanya. Suvuma expelled the ambassador of Neo Delta yesterday, following the recognition of Goytakanya by Neo Delta last month. Amid heavy riots, the Suvumese military escorted the ambassador off Suvumese territory in what is the country’s latest protest against the recognition by third parties of the small island nation of Goytakanya.

“The Suvumese government may think that other nations will abstain from recognising Goytakanya if they are treated as Neo Delta has been treated just now, but this kind of behaviour is really not done in international diplomacy”, the former minister said. “I therefore call upon all governments to recognise Goytakanya as an independent nation and force Suvuma to deal with the situation in a civilised manner. We cannot have one country dividing international politics and forcing countries to take sides only because it can’t get over the fact that one tiny Suvuman island gained independence forty years ago. The entire area could have been a lot more prosperous for both sides if Suvuma itself had recognised Goytakanya a long time ago.”

Only six countries, including Řots, have full diplomatic ties with Goytakanya at this moment. “Goytakanya has been independent for several decades, this number is far too low!” Koras Ipat Vabere says. “I cannot imagine that Suvuma has such a tight grip on the rest of the world that it is succesfully able to bully other nations into abstaining from recognising Goytakanya. This situation should change fast!”

The foreign ministry mentioned that it was discussing the status of Goytakanya with ‘several other countries’, but didn’t want to specify. Last week, the incumbent foreign minister Bāpēr Irve Ulař backed our neighbour Neo Delta in its dealings with Goytakanya and Suvuma. Koras Ipat Vabere was foreign minister in the second cabinet of prime minister Storm Bāvakos Nařret (2006 – 2011).

Vervets Bekřa Nureet sworn in as prime minister; Řots backs Neo Delta in conflict with Suvuma

(Nekkar, 2 November 2015) – After more than two months, the new government of Řots has been sworn in, with DP leader Vervets Bekřa Nureet succeeding Kar Basil Ītase as prime minister.

The most prominent member of his cabinet is Bāpēr Irve Ulař (f), who is mostly known as the non-partizan former director of the Urana Larin Kik-Institute, which specialises in foreign diplomatic strategies. She was accepted as the new minister of foreign affairs after a series of tough parliamentary hearings, which mainly centred about the diplomatic scandal that occurred in 2007 after the erroneous arrest of Neo Deltan diplomat Saran Fida-Pord by the military police of Řots; the arrest was ordered by the secret service in cooperation with the Institute, both thinking that they were dealing with the notorious art criminal Kulorve Břīvēri Tora, who often dresses up as a woman during the execution of art robberies and smuggling.

The reputations of both the Institute and the Řots secret service were heavily damaged by the incident and Bāpēr Irve Ulař had to step down. She then became CEO of the media consortium ŘīBak, and in 2010 she became Secretary General of the foreign ministry. The fact that Saran Fida-Pord is the current minister of foreign affairs of Neo Delta – and therefore Bāpēr Irve Ulař’s homologue – was duely discussed by the parliamentary committee but finally considered not to be a good enough reason to block Bāpēr Irve Ulař’s appointment.

One of Bāpēr Irve Ulař’s first tasks seemed to be the controversy around the recent recognition by Neo Delta of the state of Goytakanya, after the Suvumese Federal Republic, which claims Goytakanya as part of its own territory and considers the country’s government a terrorist organisation, urged Neo Delta to withdraw its recognition and threatened with ‘severe diplomatic consequences’. Bāpēr Irve Ulař backed Neo Delta saying that the Suvumese demands were ‘absolutely unreasonable’. “The Suvumese government has neither been able nor internationally allowed to assert its claims on Goytakanya and trying to make other countries choose between them will only further isolate Suvuma”, she said. The minister reminded that Řots has had official relations with Goytakanya since 2011. Although our country didn’t have any diplomatic relations with Suvuma before that year, it has proved impossible to establish them since Řots’s recognition of Goytakanya.

Other key figures in the new cabinet are Amer Sot Hulme on domestic affairs, Pugermba Ēbāt Brost on defense, Irve Tōr Verko (f) on finance, and Vurm Beden Břer on justice. Well-known television show host Bolko Avartse Arāp (f) was presented as the new education minister, a surprise appointment considering the fact that based on the opinions that she usually expresses on tv, a right-wing cabinet wouldn’t be the most logical choice for her.

Several parties in the Řosu Git (the parliament of Řots) criticised the Constitutional Court for causing unnecessary delay in the government formation. By first putting forward Bast Hulme Gabiř, the popular non-partizan Dakarevu Ebit (ombudsman), as candidate prime minister, it showed that it hadn’t a clear view of the political balance. A spokesperson of the Court however said that the Court has the right to choose anyone that it thinks suitable for the post of prime minister. “Bast Hulme Gabiř was and remains the Court’s first choice”, the spokesperson said.

Progress Party rejects Bast Hulme Gabiř as prime minister of Řots after a month of negotiations

(Nekkar, 27 September 2015) – After a small month of intense negotiations, the Progress Party (PA) has rejected Bast Hulme Gabiř as the new prime minister of Řots. Bast Hulme Gabiř, the popular non-partizan Dakarevu Ebit (ombudsman), was put forward by the Constitutional Court just before New Year. PA Leader Bekřa Upel Urana announced his party’s decision in the early morning, after another night of talks with Bekřa Upel Urana and representatives of the Workers’ Party ŘPP and other left-wing parties that supported the Court’s candidate, claiming that the PA in order to make this government work, had to accept too many ‘unwelcome policies’. “Especially the ŘPP have done their very best to promise us alternative policies to make accepting a government under Bast Hulme Gabiř more worthwile for us, but it just wasn’t enough”, Bekřa Upel Urana said.

This means that the Constitutional Court has to present another candidate within five days. It is widely expected that Vervets Bekřa Nureet, the leader of the Farmers’ Party (DP) that won last month’s parliamentary elections, will now be given a chance to form a government. In this case again, it will be the PA who will act as kingmaker; without it, the DP and the Feudal Party PP will be unable to find a suitable majority in the Řosu Git, the parliament of Řots.

Still incumbent prime minister Kar Basil Ītase (who will remain in office until her successor has been officially appointed) criticised both the Court and the political parties, including her own, the ŘPP, that the first round of negotiations has taken too long and caused the country to loose precious time. Although not the longest government formation ever yet, the current one has indeed taken more time than usual.

Constitutional Court proposes Bast Hulme Gabiř as candidate prime minister of Řots

(Nekkar, 6 September 2015) – On Eppezurta (the 4th day of the week, ed.) the election committee has announced the official results of the elections that were held last week. According to these, the Farmers’ Party (DP) narrowly won the popular vote with 20,23% of the votes, followed by the Progress Party (PA) with 20,15%, and the Workers’ Party (ŘPP) with 20,05%. The seat division will be as more or less indicated by the first exit poll on election night: Farmers (DP) 10, Workers (ŘPP) 9, Feudal Party (PP) 8, Progress (PA) 7, Republicans (PS) 6, Shared Possession (PBS) 4, Citizen (PD) 3, and Countryside (TDP), 1 for a total of 48 of 51 seats (but the three seats for the nobility are generally left unoccupied). It has been a first in the political history of Řots that the three largest parties ended up so close to each other (at least in terms of popular vote), which illustrates the opinion of some critics that people think that the current spectrum of parties doesn’t offer anything special.

It is perhaps for this reason that the Constitutional Court (Starmik Irtosuřēda), after hearing the party leaders’ advices yesterday made a surprise announcement just before midnight proposing non-partizan Bast Hulme Gabiř, the incumbent Dakarevu Ebit (an office similar to that of ombudsman or citizen’s advocate), as the candidate prime minister. The decision of the Constitutional Court was welcomed by several mostly left wing parties, ŘPP interim leader Lorvats Nert Ornte hailing the Court’s choice for an independent candidate. PA leader Bekřa Upel Urana said that his party will study the candidate before making a decision, and DP leader Vervets Bekřa Nureet (who was widely expected to be the Court’s candidate) outright opposed the idea of having Bast Hulme Gabiř as the next prime minister, although he didn’t want to elaborate this opinion. With DP and most likely also PP opposing Bast Hulme Gabiř’s candidacy, it will be decided by the PA whether this man will be the next prime minister or not.

No news will however be expected on this subject for at least a week, as tonight is New Year’s eve and as of tomorrow, the country will observe the five days of Onī Bakē Sirta (New Year’s Days) of the new year 3492.