Middle school newspaper reporter writes scathing article revealing location of PWN Kids’ Granola Street is truly unknown

EAST GILLEPSIE JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, GILLEPSIE, FREEDEMIA– “Please tell me, How can I Get to Granola Street!!” The popular intro to the educational PTN show so many Freedemian children and children around the world love- Granola Street. However, one Freedemian media outlet isn’t holding back in their criticism of the show. 7th grader and reporter Amy Callendino for East Gillepsie Junior High School’s Gator Journal  (the school newspaper) wrote a scathing expose article in last week’s edition titled “You Really Can’t Tell Me How to Get to Granola Street, Can You?- Freedemia’s Children searching for a place that Doesn’t Exist”. Callendino focused on the suspiciously small amount known about where Granola Street is actually supposed to be, then scrutinized the few details known.

“First, let’s just go based off of appearance. The urban, but somewhat historic neighborhood seems like something that could be in the Garland Park area, considering the architecture and the appearance of the neighborhood. However, the subway station complicates this judgement- while the area looks like it should be along the Capitol Shuttle, on the show it lists routes 1, 2, and 3, none of which directly serve the area, especially not at a shared stop.”

“The largest and most specific piece of evidence we have here is once again the oh-so-famous Granola Street Subway station, pictured in almost every episode next to Goober’s Store. This stop isn’t listed on any QUARTA subway map, not even any historical maps. Even more suspicious is the sign for the station itself. According to the signage, the station is home to subway lines 1, 2, and 3. However, there isn’t a single local station in the system that is home to just lines 1, 2, and 3. In fact, the only stop in the entire system where all three stop is Fredrick Street/Convention Center, the busiest station in the QLine Metro System, home to lines 1, 1X, 2, 2X, 3, 3X, 7, 7X, 14, 14X, and AX, and eventually line 10 when it reaches completion. Frankly, based off the subway station, there’s no possible location that makes sense.”

granolastreetfakesign
The famous fake subway entrance sign seen so frequently on Granola Street.
quartawayfinding1
Actual signage from a real QUARTA QLine station. Notice the small differences, such as the QUARTA logo and the smaller font used on the actual signage compared to that used on Granola Street.

Callendino also covered several other points, such as the fact that if there was an entire neighborhood of big furry “Funsters” living in downtown Quentinsburgh someone would have noticed by now, and the fact that the bus that ran to the local bus stop was a route 19, which in the QUARTA system cannot exist (to reduce confusion with the metro lines which at some point may number all the way from 1-19, buses are numbered 20 and up), not even mentioning the fact that the street was too small to need a “Route 19- Granola Street” bus.

Callendino’s teachers and those running the school newspaper have been supportive of the unconventional article.

“We encourage critical thinking here at EGJHS, so we wanted her to write the article. It showed that she was thinking critically and deeply about everything she interacts with,” newspaper editor and Ingerish teacher Carla Hermando explained. “It was well written and well thought-out.”

Kids Edutainment Workshop, the creator of Granola Street, released a statement today in response to the article going viral, saying “the numbering of the subway station routes was simply meant to look realistic while reinforcing numbers to kids watching at home”.

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