GOBRAS CITY — It isn’t a job for everybody… For the past week, adverts have been running around the world for a job few people would envy. It isn’t paid, it involves a huge amount of travel and there is a chance of never seeing your friends and family again. There’s not even the honor and glory that goes with being an astronaut – the only job that might be remotely similar. On top of that half your time is likely to be spent tending a small garden plot, by hand. It is a job as a representative of ‘Telkhug Ēkdŭn’, the secretive intelligence agency based on the remote island of Ūdzđąnąrąt (Udenarrat to you and me).
The two minute advert starts with some previously unseen footage from the island. It shows half-naked men and women living in small villages surrounded by mountains, tangled forest and swamp. The climate looks warm and moist with clouds and rain hiding the peaks. The birds and bugs though are a marvel to see (apparently some of these have never been recorded by science). There are huge iridescent butterflies, multi-colored lizards, frogs and hundreds of brightly colored birds. At the end of the sequence we see some large birds, which, it is claimed, are the planet’s last living dodos. And we thought they were extinct! A few apparently still survive on this island that time forgot.
But the job may not be based on the island all the time: the positions advertised are for representatives to the Assembly of Nations – based in St Richards, Pretany – and candidates must also be expected to wander these corridors of power (though how this ties in with allotment tending is very unclear). Prospective candidates should apply, by tweeter or email to the Telkhug Ēkdŭn embassy in Gobras City, Gobrassanya (telkhug_e@ ūdzđąnąrąt.nongov.ud) or go to the agency’s dedicated webpage. A representative said they’d already had a number of applications – but that any sane person would be crazy enough to volunteer for a job like that is beyond us!