Säntjana, SA; A Karolian musician has waded into the controversy surrounding Belphenian politician Gordon Itani, who resigned on Tuesday, with a provocative video satirising his failed attempt to legalise the Siikesilla amulets. Da Bomb, the stage name of rapper Saiido Laputänu, released the three-minute track yesterday evening and has already reached over 500,000 views on major video-hosting sites around the world. The rap, which is spoken in Inglish, begins with Da Bomb imitating Itani’s resignation speech, ‘live’ from the ‘Pretend-ure of Bluesagg, People’s Hypocritical Repubic of Bellendia’.
“Under penalty of lying, I hereby speak the truth and tell y’all that…” he begins before launching into a fast-paced verbal assault on almost every part of Belphenian life, boasting about how ‘I live in all the puhanned (red-haired attractive women) houses’ (unmarried couples are not allowed to live together in Belphenia) and how in this rap “I’m giving you psychiatry” (which is outlawed in the country).
Many of the lyrics are highly explicit and have been removed in the ‘clean’ version that is seeing the most views, but the viciousness of the satire remains. “Yo queens got beards!” yells the crowd behind Da Bomb at one point, mocking the Belphenian politicians Reiko and Erza Beard. “You try to screw ma culture, you run out of luck” proclaims the rapper, waving his siikesilla, “ma the king of Osmila and I wear one when I ****!” Gordon Itani is frequently referred to, as are the differences in culture and law: “You’re a weak-*** kuuri sat crying on the cameras/well we was laughing at yo right to the top of the Taamras/you get no tourist cos your country is a joke/they all come here where they can legally shmoke!/come down to ma hood if you want a vacation/cos I’m the best thing about mass immigration!”
Also involved in the video production is veteran of the genre Hit Dangerous, no stranger to either political music or controversy himself. It would seem that the whole song was devised, recorded and produced in a very short space of time, although this is only evident from the simple format of the set-up, with most shots consisting of Da Bomb rapping at the camera in a news studio, with his crew behind. The song has not been released commercially, only posted on the internet.
No official response has been published by any Karolian political body, but it is expected that in private the video will be a frustration to those wishing for more civil relations between Karolia and Belphenia, which have never been less than frosty since the era of deposed leader Sasuke Volkman. Others have simply made gestures supporting free speech, which is protected in the constitution.
The editor of Karolian tabloid Ekspress, Mikka va’Lahti, posted an editorial on his website. “Almost as priceless as the video itself are the spineless Karolian politicos squirming out of questions about whether it should be censored. They know they can’t say they want to ban it, but they can’t say they like it and they also can’t say they agree with Belphenia’s crackpot government. Enjoy the show…” A cartoon on another page showed Belphenians begging for mercy from giant anthropomorphic siikesillad parachuting into the country.
Elsewhere on the internet, pictures and quotes of Gordon Itani with ‘humorous’ captions added are going viral on social media and other public websites. “Under penalty of lying, I am hereby to speak the truth in good faith bladahbladah…YOU ARE BUTT UGLY!!!!!!!” was just one seen on a Mecynan newsgroup today. “Lost his job over a necklace/And you thought you had a bad day at the office” ran another. In some circles, Itani is being held up as a heroic champion of free speech in a country most Karolians have little objective information about. A satirical campaign to ‘evacuate’ him to Karolia has taken hold on social media, an offer which includes “a free pair of ‘silla-cloaking glasses”, although, as one user wittily pointed out “he would need help learning to drive on just one side of the road”.